Coming of Age Multi Genre Project

As I have grown older, I have noticed that many components of my life have changed. I have been given a lot of responsibilities, a lot more freedom, and a lot more trust. Some of these changes I enjoy, because they make me feel like I have more control over my life. Others, however, I feel that they cut into my time and newly gained freedom.

In some cases things that I expected to change did not though. Becoming a teenager did not mean that I would be treated like and equal by grownup, nor be the perfect popular girl. I my 'when I'm a teenager' fantasies, I was just that. As I grew older though, I began to realize that things weren't going to go the way that I had planed. Still, until I became a teenager, I still had a small hope that my fantasies would come true.

This project was made to show that in becoming a teenager many things change, while others do not. I also want to show that sometimes things change and don't change when they are least expected to.

** My visual component is a painting so it cannot be put on the blog **

When I was younger I looked at the teenagers and thought, 'wow, I want to be like them. They are so cool and pretty, and probably have millions of friend who are just as cool and pretty.' Now as a teenager, looking back at those feelings, I want to tell my 8-year-old self to stop looking up to these people. Now that I know that these people are just people who act like they are cool.


Don't be them
The ones who
Look pretty and
Act cool,
Are really just
Shadows within
Skin

It is better to
Have soul and
Feeling than
Glitter on your
Skin
And plastic for a
Heart

So be yourself
Not who you
Are told
To be
Don't listen to
Those who criticize
You and snicker
As you walk
By

You won't be
Them, so don't expect
To be

It wouldn't have mattered if  I had listened then, but I would have it store in my brain, ready to show itself when needed. It is hard to understand why to be yourself instead of following the "rules" of society. When I was younger, I was always told by my parents and relatives to be myself. Eventually I mentally put it in the category of "stupid, useless" things parents say. As I grew older I tried to be just another person in our society. I wanted to be "perfect" like the other girls.

I feel like people are
Looking at me weird

Does that matter?
Are they you?

No they are not
But

You answered yourself.
Why do you care?

Because...

See, you don't
Know
Don't bother
It isn't
Worth it
Do you know
Another way?

People say
To be yourself,
but what does that
mean?

It means what
It is.
Don't try to change
Don't expect to change

Becoming a teenager, although I didn't become popular and outgoing, brought me a truckload of changes. All of a sudden I became responsible for watching my brother, setting the table, buying groceries, doing my laundry, and helping to prepare dinner. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to become a "venerated" teenager; the responsibilities that came along with it had yet to infiltrate my skull. They were an after thought to the "world of popularity" that I would eventually enter. When I entered it, I was hit with a shock. My fantasy of teenage glory included me being a completely different, cooler, person, who defiantly wasn't doing the laundry.

Dear Mom and Dad,
You were right about being yourself. Although I'm still working to get there, and still hoping that one day I will wake up as a "cool" teenager, I have accepted who I am. It is very hard to accept that thing that you thought would happen never did, even if they are a little girl's fairytale. The responsibilities that I got when I became a teenager are hard to manage, but I've accepted that they are part of growing up. Maybe some things that I wanted to change never did, and the things that I never expected to changed. Either way, I have grown to accept that this is what happens.

--Micaela

Essay: The Knife of Never Letting Go

The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness follows the coming of age of Todd in this science-fiction story. As a young child Todd didn’t know of anything hidden from him. When he got older, information that he was “sheltered” from gets forced in his direction. Todd had to accept that many things that were kept hidden from him as a child. When he found out that he was brought up with lies he is confused, and doesn’t want to believe it. This discovery helps him learn about the real world.

 Todd grew up in Prentisstown, a town on the New World consisting only of males. As a child he was told that Prentisstown was the only settlement on New World. When forced to run away, he discovers many other settlements, and the truth that was hidden from him for his entire life.

In the beginning of his journeys, Todd learns that Prentisstown men aren't welcomed anywhere. The law of New World states that Prentisstown men found outside of Prentisstown will be killed. Luckily for Todd, he is still a boy, so he can't be killed; he still faces many hard feelings though. On his journeys, Todd sees his caretaker and substitute father, Ben, outside of Prentisstown. When men from a settlement see Ben, they say to Todd, "You might want to be careful who you start claiming as a parent, Todd" (378). Todd has a hard time facing that people, such as Ben, who he cares about are hated by the rest of New World. All of a sudden he had to accept that the people he grew up loving and looking up to are disliked by everyone else

A big mystery in this book is what happened to the women? Prentisstown is a completely male town. Todd and all of the other boys were told that the women were killed by a germ that was released by aliens, called spackle. When Ben told Todd the truth, Todd said, "The men of Prentisstown killed the women of Prentisstown" (393). This makes Todd feel hatred, more than he already had, for the men he grew up with. It also makes him feel hatred for himself for not figuring out the truth. He eventually comes to term with it, but hates his hometown even more. When he found this out, Todd didn’t believe it at first. He had always wished that he could meet his dead mother. It was easier to blame it on aliens, than his own neighbors.

Growing up, Todd was told the lie that Prentisstown was the only settlement on New World. Prentisstown had no associations with other settlements that Todd could remember; this was because Prentisstown was a "town in exile." Because of killing the women, the other New World settlements hated Prentisstown. "All men from Prentisstown were declared criminals. [They] couldn't leave" (394). Todd had a hard time accepting that other settlements existed, because he had grown up with the idea that Prentisstown was the only settlement. As he travels, he sees the world that he had missed out on as a younger boy. Seeing the real New World helped him come to terms with other things that came out at him after leaving Prentisstown such as what happened to the women, and why Prentisstown men aren’t welcome anywhere

Todd changes, and becomes more accepting and less ignorant as he learns more about the world. He is aware and accepts that he was brought up with lie, and he changes into a more accepting and knowledgeable-about-the-world person.

Coming of Age Writing Prompt #5: What are some epiphanies that you have had about yourself?

Why does it matter
Who said it did
Maybe it was me
Who made that decision
Because the decision is me

Why does it matter what he
Thinks, she
Thinks, they
Think
Why does it affect me

Thoughts are for
Those who think them
Does it change me because I know
He hates
Me, I annoy
Her, to them I'm
Weird

To me
I'm me
And me is happy,
The way me is

The Secret Life of Bees By Sue Monk Kidd

It is hard for human being to come to come to terms with drastic mistakes that they made in their past; nothing is different for Lily Owens from The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

            At the age of three Lily shot her mother. It wasn’t purposeful; she found a gun lying on the floor of her parents’ South Carolina home, and not knowing what she was doing, pulled the trigger. Lily’s mistake haunts her continuously with pain, self-pity and regret, and denial that it really was her.

            Many times in the book she remembers that life changing day, and is not sure what to make of it in her mind. Sometimes Lily will make herself believe a scenario where it was really her father who fired the gun. She still always knew somewhere deep-down-inside that it was her, and no one else. In the book she states, “I knew that the explosion I’d heard that day had killed her. The sound still sneaked into my head once in a while and surprised me” (17). This quote shows a sense of not being at terms with what had happened. When she says that the sound surprised her, a reader can interpret that she tried to forget about killing her mother, instead of accepting what happened. This causes her to blame others, the others being her father T. Ray. When she is in denial, all of the anger she has is focused on T. Ray. At those moments she truly hates him.

            Many people associate a certain time or feeling with a certain sound. For Lily, a sound for misery is the gun shot that replays itself in her mind. That sound changed her life. If it had never happened, Lily could be living far away from T. Ray and with her mother. A quote that illustrates this is when she says, “The sound had torn through the room and gouged our hearts”(17).  Lily uses very strong language in this part to show her pain. The word ‘gouged’ is a standout here. The dictionary definition is “to cut or scoop out” (The American Heritage Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus, 331). It is as if a part of her and T. Ray was taken away when the gun had fired. This part of her being taken away causes her to see and feel her pain from everything.

            Self-pity is a feeling that is natural in humans. What Lily feels isn’t quite self-pity though. She pities herself because she has to live with killing her mother, but she also pities others because of the pain that she caused them. This feeling can be classified as regret. Lily finds it coming up everywhere. “I felt that [August] knew what a lying, murderous, hating, person I really was” (71), Lily states in the book. Her pity for herself and others, and her regret puts Lily in a state where she feels that everyone knows what she did.

            The mistake that Lily made when she shot her mother haunts her without ceasing. She feels regret, disbelief, and pain related to that topic and she can’t put it out of her mind.

Coming of Age Response: What are some traditonal markers for growing up in our culture? How do you think society defines adulthood?

**This is a short story about a girl about to have her bat mitzvah**

I put on the dress I had picked out last month and admire the sky blue fabric that comes down to a few inches above my knees. I spin around and watch the skirt fly up, and then settle again. After checking that the makeup that I had put on was perfect I slowly put on my shoes.

I can't believe that this is actually happening, I think. I remember watching all of my cousins get bat mitzvahed, but i had never quite processed that I would do it to. This is supposed to make me a Jewish adult, but I'm not sure that I'm ready

"Eliza!" my mom calls. "It's time to leave." I twirl once more and make my way down the stairs, careful not to trip on my new heels.

The walk to the temple seems to be miles, although it is only three blocks away from my house. My mom is talking, but the words seem to go through my head without me noticing. I am practicing the hardest prayer that I have to recite over and over again in my head and trying, and failing, to keep my knees from shaking.

All of a sudden it hits me with a jolt. I'm in the temple. People are looking at me, waiting for me to start. I take a deep breath. Then I start. I'm refusing to look up at the eyes following my every move. I reach the hardest part. All of a sudden the Hebrew letters look jumbled. Focus, I think. The words come out smoothly. I'm done. I did it, I think. My thoughts do a celebratory dance as I scan the faces watching me for the first time. they look back at me with smiles on their faces.

I am an adult, I think. This was my transition, my test. I passed it. Maybe I'm not an adult yet, but I have begun that journey today.

Coming of Age Response: What are some questions and concerns you have about growing up and adulthood?

Who will I be?

Because

Now I am drifting

Between whom I want

To be

Who I am now

I’m not sure

Growing up means

What does it mean?

That I need

To choose

Who

As long

As

I choose

Right

I am told

That when I

Grow up I must

Choose who

I want to be

But for now

I will stay

Me

Response To: Daja's Book by Tamora Pierce (Edited Version #2)

         Daja's Book is the third book in the Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce. Many important and thought provoking things have happened to the main character, Daja Kisubo in the beginning of the book.

         The book starts off by discussing a conflict that is both internal and external for Daja. Although it had been plaguing her thoughts for a while, she never realized that she was going to have to face it. When Daja's family's ship sunk, she was the lone survivor. Her people, called Traders, consider it bad luck to be a lone survivor, so she was removed her from their society. They call those people trangshi, and "by Trader law [they] don't exist" (13). While Daja is traveling with her friends Sandry, Tris, Briar, and their teachers, they meet up with a Trader caravan. The Traders treat her like she doesn't exist, because that is what the tradition says to do in the presence of a trangshi.

         After reading this part, a reader's first instinct would be to think about how unfair and irrational the Traders were being. It wasn't Daja's fault that her family's ship sunk and she survived.  She wishes that her family was still alive, and she definitely didn't choose the trangshi lifestyle. Also, isn't it lucky to survive?

         After thinking it through, one realizes that the Traders shouldn't be blamed. Traders were brought up with that custom, and many others that could be thought of as unusual. They never knew any other way to treat people with bad luck. They had probably never even seen a trangshi! When someone is taught something as a child, they aren't very willing to give the idea up. For example, when people are younger, their parents teach them that it is bad to insult people. Since they've had that idea for most of their lives, they believe that it is correct.

         It's not fair for Daja to hate the Traders for treating her the way they did. Since she grew up with trader customs, she probably treated trangshi the same way that the Traders are now treating her. She definitely has a right to feel hurt and sad among her people who are ignoring her, but she also has to understand that this is the custom of her people; she is just on the bad end of it.

         This part of the book shows a big moral to readers: treat others the way you want to be treated. Daja, who followed the trangshi custom when she was on the better end of it, is now on the bad end of it. Not every Trader will be treated like a trangshi, but every Trader should realize that under the bad luck there is a real person. Although it sounds very cliché, it is an important lesson, whether you live in a fantasy realm or the United States.

Sonnet

The summer winds do whistle through the wood
A pretty day with sun and birds, air's light
I walk and stroll enjoy soft breeze, so good
A lone rose growing tall a pretty sight

I go to pick it up and sniff its scent
A strong and sweet perfume that leaks I sniff
To smell this scent all day and night, it's meant
To keep this scent, to savor a sweet whiff

But then a finger scrapes a point, not fun
The beauty has hurt me so shame this thorn
A bee then sprouts from petals smooth it comes
The sting begins I scream, this pain I scorn

My finger hurt I trudge await, I'm maimed
A lone rose left upon the ground remained

Response to Classmate's Blogs

Sarah:
Sarah's blog had many thoughtful responses and poems. Of these I think that her sonnet was my favorite. I really appreciated how she brought out the good in winter, a season that I greatly dislike. She talked about the feeling of warmth from a fire while looking at the snow. I could really connect to this part because I have always loved being inside during a snow storm with a hot drink and being happy that I am cozy and warm. As well as having strong, thoughtful descriptions it followed iambic pentameter. Overall it was obviously very thought-through and had a lot of effort.

Tulah:
Tulah's responses have a lot of depth and substance. In her response to My Papa's Waltz she stated her opinion in an organized way with a lot to back it up. I liked how she thought about how every detail mattered. As well as defending her own opinions, she explained what they boy's motives were to her. In the last paragraph of her response she states that "we look up to our parents, and so we find it hard to fault them." I defiantly agree. When my parents are saying something that I don't think is fair, I sometimes see why because I look up to them. Overall, Tulah's response was very thought provoking.

Alberta:
Alberta has some very good poetry on her blog. Of her poems, the one that I appreciated most was her narrative poem. I liked how it didn't out-right say what the narrator was thinking, but it is still a joyful poem. In my mind I interpret it as a poem about confidence, but I can see many other ways to interpret it. Another thing that I liked was the line breaks. They were in a place that gave the poem a smooth rhythm. The descriptions gave me a very good visual as well. Overall, it was a very creative poem.

Response to "My Father's Waltz"

My Father's Waltz was a very sad poem. Under many layers, the author admitted that his father was a drunk and abused him. Whether it was about a specific time or his whole childhood, he makes the reader feel the pain of his father's belt buckle and "hand caked with dirt."

What is most interesting about the poem is how the author says it so casually. He explains the hand as keeping time and the belt buckle from slipping. It is as if he was abused on a regular basis and began to think of it as normal life.

That is a scary thought; being abused could be his normal life. Each day waking up, eating, and being abused as his mother nonchalantly looks on. Talking about the mother, I wonder what exactly she is doing and thinking while her husband drunkenly hits their son. Is she helpless, or could she have made the husband stop? Maybe she is scared for her own safety, but would sacrifice that of her son's.

This poem shows a life that I could never imagine having, yet the author lived it and was brave enough to share it with us. I admire his bravery in this situation, in his life!

Narrative Poem

A beautiful day, I think to myself
The sun and the heat will surely be out
I run to  the window that's under my shelf
And look for the sun that will defiantly be about

But there it is
The wind and the rain
And there goes my bliss
Oh, such pain

All I wanted was a day to play
Amongst the beautiful summer air
Now on my mattress I shall lay
While I contemplate this unfair

I guess I will go out anyway
Into the wind that's harsh and cold
I don't care what they'll say
I just am so bold

Poem on an Incident

                                                    just a young tree
                                              living happily in the world
                                          in its few years budding, blooming
                                           turning red in the fall and going
                                            on its path of simple, simple life
                                                one day a stranger came
                                                walking down the street
                                                        he smiled
                                                                       and yanked on me
                                                           just a
                                                        poor tree
                                                       strong, now
                                                           with a
                                                           broken
                                                           branch
                                                         a broken
                                                         limb, the
                                                        pain of one
                                                      person's pull

Reflection on Starry Night

Starry Night by Anne Sexton is a very interesting poem. It takes a painting that many think of as pretty and turns it into something creepy. It turns into death and monstrous thoughts; a battle within ones self. 

This poem shows that things can be seen from different perspectives based on the person's personality. If they are generally unhappy they will see the dark colors and notice how they compliment the painting. A generally happier person will notice the stars and how they compliment the painting.

Like the painting, the poem has many layers and many feelings within. They can be interpreted in many different ways. It just depends on the person and their view of the world. They just need to look carefully and extract what they can connect to. Each poem/painting is multiple opinions.

Poem On "Heat"

A still air drowning me
A heat covering me
Rubbing close
Covering me in a captive's
bond
No way to move
No way to resist

It was best not to try
To let it do what it came  for
Then pass
To wait for the cool wind to save me.

Until then
I will
Brace the
Heat

Analyzing Paintings- Heat by: Florine Stetteimer

The painting "Heat" uses colors to show the feeling. Though heat cannot be felt the colors used are colors that are thought of as "hot." Orange and red make me thing of fire- which is hot. The pale colors of the womens' dresses are colors that make me think of being tired and that's how many people feel at the heat of the day.

The positions of the women also show heat. They look relaxed and like they don't want to move anytime soon. The woman in the red armchair looks like she was knitting, but stopped because it got too hot.

Where the orange turns lighter is most-likely where it is most sunny. No one is in those spots. The women are on the edges.

All of the details in this painting show that this painting depicts an uncomfortable heat.


Heat- http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/opencollection/objects/1165/Heat