As I have grown older, I have noticed that many components of my life have changed. I have been given a lot of responsibilities, a lot more freedom, and a lot more trust. Some of these changes I enjoy, because they make me feel like I have more control over my life. Others, however, I feel that they cut into my time and newly gained freedom.
In some cases things that I expected to change did not though. Becoming a teenager did not mean that I would be treated like and equal by grownup, nor be the perfect popular girl. I my 'when I'm a teenager' fantasies, I was just that. As I grew older though, I began to realize that things weren't going to go the way that I had planed. Still, until I became a teenager, I still had a small hope that my fantasies would come true.
This project was made to show that in becoming a teenager many things change, while others do not. I also want to show that sometimes things change and don't change when they are least expected to.
** My visual component is a painting so it cannot be put on the blog **
When I was younger I looked at the teenagers and thought, 'wow, I want to be like them. They are so cool and pretty, and probably have millions of friend who are just as cool and pretty.' Now as a teenager, looking back at those feelings, I want to tell my 8-year-old self to stop looking up to these people. Now that I know that these people are just people who act like they are cool.
Don't be them
The ones who
Look pretty and
Act cool,
Are really just
Shadows within
Skin
It is better to
Have soul and
Feeling than
Glitter on your
Skin
And plastic for a
Heart
So be yourself
Not who you
Are told
To be
Don't listen to
Those who criticize
You and snicker
As you walk
By
You won't be
Them, so don't expect
To be
It wouldn't have mattered if I had listened then, but I would have it store in my brain, ready to show itself when needed. It is hard to understand why to be yourself instead of following the "rules" of society. When I was younger, I was always told by my parents and relatives to be myself. Eventually I mentally put it in the category of "stupid, useless" things parents say. As I grew older I tried to be just another person in our society. I wanted to be "perfect" like the other girls.
I feel like people are
Looking at me weird
Does that matter?
Are they you?
No they are not
But
You answered yourself.
Why do you care?
Because...
See, you don't
Know
Don't bother
It isn't
Worth it
Do you know
Another way?
People say
To be yourself,
but what does that
mean?
It means what
It is.
Don't try to change
Don't expect to change
Becoming a teenager, although I didn't become popular and outgoing, brought me a truckload of changes. All of a sudden I became responsible for watching my brother, setting the table, buying groceries, doing my laundry, and helping to prepare dinner. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to become a "venerated" teenager; the responsibilities that came along with it had yet to infiltrate my skull. They were an after thought to the "world of popularity" that I would eventually enter. When I entered it, I was hit with a shock. My fantasy of teenage glory included me being a completely different, cooler, person, who defiantly wasn't doing the laundry.
Dear Mom and Dad,
You were right about being yourself. Although I'm still working to get there, and still hoping that one day I will wake up as a "cool" teenager, I have accepted who I am. It is very hard to accept that thing that you thought would happen never did, even if they are a little girl's fairytale. The responsibilities that I got when I became a teenager are hard to manage, but I've accepted that they are part of growing up. Maybe some things that I wanted to change never did, and the things that I never expected to changed. Either way, I have grown to accept that this is what happens.
--Micaela
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